Saturday, May 12, 2018

Thoughts on Mother's Day

I don’t understand this inclination to wish all mothers a happy mother’s day just because we’re women. I hate Mother’s Day. I hate being wished a Happy Mother’s Day especially by people who know I have no children. I don't want to automatically be given a flower on Mother’s Day because I’m a woman. I hate the wishes for a Happy Mother’s Day “to all those who wanted children but don’t have them or whose hearts are sore.”

I dislike platitudes. I don’t want to get an email or text from someone who’s “thinking of [me] today.” Don’t automatically text or e-mail women this thought. Some will appreciate it; others won’t. Unless you know, keep your own counsel - certainly stop posting it publicly. 

For many women, not having had children is not a sensitive subject. Many women who haven’t had children have made a decision not to; for others, it’s a much less sensitive issue - it’s just something that happened that way, like graduating from a certain college or living in a specific part of the world. For still others, it’s like being poked in a bruised area. I don’t need these thoughts of yours; I have enough of my own. I don’t want to hear TMI details about your pregnancy.  Tell me you’re pregnant; I’m delighted for you! I’ll even buy you a present if we’re friends. But I can’t hear all the nitty gritty details.

Just stop. Stop wishing all women a happy mother’s day just because they’re women, or even all your women friends who have children. Wish your own mother or grandmother a joyous mother’s day. I am not your mother and neither are most other women. I don’t want a response to this post. I just want you to think about the automatically generated “Happy Mother’s Day!” greetings that abound and to think about your role in those wishes.

I'll call my mother on Mother's Day because I love her and we're close, but there's no need to wish her a happy day on FaceBook. I'll do it privately.