Sunday, May 14, 2017

Year Six

Today marks our sixth anniversary, which is really not a long time to be married, but Ed and I were remarking last week how quickly the time has gone.

Ed realized very quickly what he had
gotten himself into. At that point, it was
too late to renege, though.
I’ve been thinking a lot about marriage this past week. I remember the priest with whom we met while going through Pre-Cana saying that at around the seventh year of our marriage, we would become disillusioned; this was a common and regular occurrence. I wonder if that happens only if you go into one's marriage with a lot of illusions. I disagree with the adage that love makes you blind; I think that real, actual love makes you see very clearly.

I know people get divorced for lots of reasons - and in cases of abuse, those reasons are good ones - but I also wonder how many people get divorced because the marriage didn’t “mean that much.”
We were married, just not very well. The marriage didn’t mean much to us, and so when things got rough, we broke up. I had been too immature to know what I was getting into. I thought passion was the most important thing. When my romantic feelings left, I followed them out the door. It was just like any breakup, but with extra paperwork.
I don't know much one can know what is getting into when getting married. I still remember reading accounts by (usually) women who would proclaim uncertainty, or worse, but didn't want to postpone or cancel the wedding because of its cost, others' expectations, hurting the would-be husband, etc.

In any case, this year for one was a quieter one. I started a history endorsement just this past week, mostly because I want a raise (I need four more classes to obtain the raise), but since I need eight classes for a history endorsement, I might just keep going. Ed is continuing to work as an analyst for SkyWest.

Last summer we went to Dinosaur National Monument in Vernal, where we saw a couple thousand dinner bones exposed on the cliff face inside the Quarry Exhibit Hall, as well as some really beautiful geology formations and petroglyphs. We're staying in Utah again for our summer vacation; we're going to the Bryce Canyon Annual Astronomy Festival.

I presented the MLA Convention in Philadelphia in January, and I'll be presenting again at CCCC Summer Conference in June in San Jose, which Ed will accompany me to. And since Ed grew up in San Jose, he'll show me around, and we'll be able to have a mini-vacation while we're there.

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