Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Honeymoon Planning & Respite

Ed and I are finally leaving to go to Iceland for our honeymoon weekend after next; we're both really looking forward to it. Aside from one long weekend in Las Vegas earlier this year, we haven't had a single vacation since before we got married. It may be ridiculous, but not having that time away has been detrimental to my own mental health.

Not that I'm about to have any kind of breakdown. I certainly don't feel that a vacation has to be international, but we didn't get the chance that so many newlyweds do in getting some time away from family and friends and starting out the marriage with a relaxing time for just the two of us. Again, not that that's absolutely necessary, but I was looking more forward to our honeymoon than I was to our wedding. (Ed had wanted all the pomp and circumstance. I was happy to give it to him, but I did not want that.)

I've been finding myself getting upset at stupid things that shouldn't be upsetting; the mental distress then lingers and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Someone will make a comment that I just find ridiculous, and I'll get shot down for disagreeing or thinking the comment or viewpoint downright asinine - even if it's a question phrased as, "Why do you think that; have you considered [fill-in-the-blank]." I feel compelled to tell the person (hopefully a bit more kindly, but not always) that there are holes in their argument, and that, of course, makes the other person more upset, and so things escalate. Most of the time I'm attempting to have a discussion and am just honestly curious about the "why" of this point of view, but the other person gets defensive or doesn't explain things well, which in turn makes me defensive.

(There are one or two folks I know in particular who really don't do critical thinking well. My asking them to clarify their beliefs, or giving a side of the issue that they might not have thought of - especially if it has to do with education - tends to be ignored. I find this frustrating because not only are they ignoring pertinent information, but when asked what they would do to fix the situation, there is absolutely no response. Pet peeve: Continuous complaints that are repeated multiple times that do not address potential solutions or even acknowledge a lack of a solution. Ditto with responses to public catastrophes: Public prolonged verbal flailing instead of donating time or money doesn't help the situation; it only adds fuel.)

These things stick with me longer than they seem to stick with other people I know, and I'm trying to figure out how to let them go without bothering me; I can't find a way. I'm hoping that just by getting away from people for the duration of our honeymoon - three weeks - I can recalibrate my thinking, and just learn not to respond to idiocy.

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