Just over three years after I broke up with C., it still stings that I got called a liar for not sharing all the details of our breakup; that my "bad past," in which I tended to be too afraid to tell the truth, which led to a lot of lying, got brought up because I didn't want to answer questions. ("Well, you did lie a lot when you were younger; why should we believe you about this?" This is not helpful after coming out of a nine-year relationship, and being unemployed and having to move back in with my parents in my 30s.)
It still stings that people pushing me into sharing details I did not want to share. Why people would think that someone is likely to share intimite details of a painful breakup from a long-term relationship days or weeks after it happened is a bit puzzling. I needed to process what happened, and it took me a long time to do that.
It still hurts that C. felt compelled to drag my parents into our breakup; why would he do that? (Aside from wanting to hurt me, I can't imagine a reason.) Our breakup had nothing to do with anyone else, and should have remained between us.
I'm an introvert. I'm cautious, and need to observe people for a long time before I'll be comfortable talking to them about anything personal. I distrust people, and get hurt easily. Once I get hurt, I remember the circumstances for a long time. I don't like being offered advice bluntly. I'd prefer to be listened to, without advice being automatically offered. Just listen and be gentle.
It still stings that people pushing me into sharing details I did not want to share. Why people would think that someone is likely to share intimite details of a painful breakup from a long-term relationship days or weeks after it happened is a bit puzzling. I needed to process what happened, and it took me a long time to do that.
It still hurts that C. felt compelled to drag my parents into our breakup; why would he do that? (Aside from wanting to hurt me, I can't imagine a reason.) Our breakup had nothing to do with anyone else, and should have remained between us.
I'm an introvert. I'm cautious, and need to observe people for a long time before I'll be comfortable talking to them about anything personal. I distrust people, and get hurt easily. Once I get hurt, I remember the circumstances for a long time. I don't like being offered advice bluntly. I'd prefer to be listened to, without advice being automatically offered. Just listen and be gentle.
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