It's been a rough 16 months since we got married. A week after we got married, Ed lost his job; although he was able to find another one quickly within the same company, it was at a 40% loss of income. Lots less money = no honeymoon. This summer, my mother-in-law died, the result of which was two months of several cross-country flights. Deceased mother-in-law = no honeymoon.
I didn't like having the realization that every summer since we've been married (I know it's only been two summers), things devastating to my husband have happened. It's better having had these things be external - it's easier to deal with than having issues with one's new spouse. We have our priorities: Family always, always comes first - no regrets about that; they were good reasons for staying put, but we've felt that we haven't really had a chance to establish ourselves as a new family; we haven't had the luxury to develop plans and goals.
That's changed since Judy passed away. If anything good came from this, it's that we came into a small amount of money that will allow us to take a honeymoon next summer; we can put money aside for adoption; we can afford for me to get a graduate degree. We immediately paid off the car and half my student loans, with plans to pay off the remaining balance within the next couple weeks, which we can afford easily (waiting for paperwork to come through is unpleasant, but we were able to get enough to pay off some immediate expenses). We'll talk to a financial advisor to ascertain the best way to invest, how we can best put aside money for the things we want to do in the next couple years, and for retirement.
It's such a great feeling, being able to make these plans. They're scary and overwhelming - the next five years are going to be busy - but I'm so happy we can get our lives started.
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