Several well-meaning friends have asked questions about the wedding that have led me to realize that they have made assumptions based on their own experiences, or their own wedding. And these questions weren't phrased in a "Are you going to do [fill-in-the-blank]?" manner.
- "What gifts are you two going to exchange at the wedding?" Ed and I are not exchanging wedding gifts. I never understood why folks did that to begin with.
- "When are you going to have the bridesmaids/groomsmen lunches?" I don't know how we'd coordinate that. I don't know when everyone is coming; what's likely to happen is several members of the bridal party arriving at the last minute because of work or school and needing to travel long distances. I can't have a lunch for people for people who wouldn't/couldn't be present.
- "What jewelry are you giving the bridesmaids?" I didn't know this was a requirement. We got our bridal party gifts, but why does it have to be jewelry? (As it happens, we did get our bridesmaids something they may wish to wear with their attire, but we're certainly not requiring them to wear it.)
These question weren't asked in a mean-spirited way, and the folks who asked weren't thinking about our wedding in terms of folks needing to travel long distances and taking several days off work. I'm hoping most people who are in the wedding can make it to the rehearsal, but I also recognize that every person in our bridal party (with the exception of our two-year-old flower girl) will be missing work or school for our wedding.