Sunday, January 23, 2011

Marriage = Obligation

So, this Piers Morgan guy has a new show, and last week he interviewed a lot of famous people. His first famous guest was Oprah, whom I like. It was an interesting interview, the snippets that I saw, but apparently the excerpt that's really gotten a lot of attention was the segment regarding her thoughts on marriage. 

Oprah struck me as forthright, and I appreciated that, but a few points did not strike me as missing the point of getting married. (Yes, these points may have been addressed elsewhere in the interview; and granted, an "interview" can be different than a "discussion.")

  1. Hopefully one is getting married after one has already "defined" oneself and the relationship, and not before - although presumably the people in the relationship change over time, which means the relationship would change over time, too.
  2. "I want to make you a meal when I want to make you a meal; I don't want it to be my responsibility to make you a meal." I'm gathering that cooking dinner is a metaphor for the larger issue of being obligated to and responsible for someone else. I understand that in marrying Ed, I are responsible for him, and we are obligated to each other on multiple levels (mentally, emotionally, and financially). I would not marry Ed if I weren't willing to care of him, but I don't think it wrong if one does not want to make that level of commitment. I think the curiosity in Oprah's case, or in someone in a similar situation, lies in if someone is simply unable to commit to that level of responsibility towards another person, or if said person is just uninterested (or disinterested) in putting in that time. It's irrelevant whether anyone else is willing to accept those reasons - I certainly would - but give your reasons for what they are. 

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