Friday, October 30, 2009

Oktoberfest & Halloween

Last Friday, Mom had an Oktobefest at her school. I went in to "help," which really just meant I brought the coolers and some bags of ice, and then sat around, ate their food, and took various pictures. I think the kids had a good time.



Last night was Trick or Treating in Emmaus. I don't know why it's always on a Thursday, regardless of the actual date of Halloween; it's just the tradition around here. In any case, we took turns manning the door, and despite my secret fear of children younger than 14, there were some pretty cute kids, including the kid with the Darth Vader head gear that was bigger than the rest of him; the two year old with the pacifier in the Winnie the Pooh suit; and the preteen girl who told me proudly, after I admired her dress, that she was a butterfly princess.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

The News

A lot has changed in the past couple of weeks. I've written details elsewhere, but mostly I've been doing a lot of what might be called "living in my head" for the past two weeks.

Chris and I parted ways, not under the best of circumstances, but breakups are never under any kind of circumstances other than bad anyway. There were some residual conversations and arguments and all the rest of it, but I think that the most painful parts are over with, and at this point just begins the process of getting on with it. I'm back in the Lehigh Valley in Pennsylvania, relegated to staying with my parents, who are being as supportive as they can, but no one wants to move back home with her parents, even under the best of circumstances.

I'm unmotivated in revising my thesis at the moment. I've never been great at multi-tasking, and the inherent and total lack of money I have at the moment seems a tad more pressing. I've settled into a routine of applying for five to ten jobs a day, which has been easier to do some days than others. So far I've had two companies express interest (one company left a message; I returned their call three times but have yet to hear back); I had an interview yesterday from a second company. I've been alternating between applying for jobs that are likely to just hire people more quickly, but which tend to pay less; and jobs that would allow me to use my mind and my education, jobs that pay more but that tend to be offered by companies that take longer to act.  I want to be able to pay my own bills again, and I won't feel better about myself, or more like myself, until I can make that happen again. It's been awhile.

Laura and I have been discussing renting a house together, down in Lancaster County, where she's been living for a while. I went to visit her last weekend; it's a beautiful area, complete with Amish buggies all over the place, lots of country, and I like it. I could happily live there until I figure out my next step, however long that takes. Of course, all this hinges on my getting a job and being able to save enough to move out. Various friends have been incredibly supportive, offering me places to stay for the weekend or longer as respite, to allow me some space, to not place any demands on me. This has been really helpful, especially since in the cases of Laura and Maria who have had their own issues to wade through, but have been checking up on me regularly. Justin, Ed, Steph, and Brian have also been keeping tabs on me, and allowing me to get all weepy as necessary; thankfully I'm not feeling too alone at the moment.

Last week was difficult. It's a weird place to be in. I want simultaneously to be left alone and fussed at, although things have been a bit better the past couple days.

Sunday, October 11, 2009

Happyland

I spent the weekend in upstate New York, hanging out with the family. Ciara is turning 16 next week, so nine of us descended on my aunt's home outside Albany: me, Mom, Dad, Anne & Bill (of course), Patrick, and Bill's sister Harriet and her daughter. Ciara has turned out to be really cool and I enjoy her a lot. We're finally at the stage where we can talk about the good stuff. She told me she'd wished she had more of a chance to visit with me this weekend, which made me get a bit teary, because I adore her to pieces. I had a really good time and although I'm glad to be home, I really enjoyed spending the time with my family.

In family-related news: I got a link to Aidan's new film, which apparently was completed last August, but Patrick only gave me the link last night. I'm probably biased, but I think his latest is really good. Rather trippy.