Way back when, I had decided I was going to remake myself. It didn't take, partly because I was trying to do too much at once. I've started again, with something that's been on my mind the most: I've been questioning my religious beliefs for the past year; I've been feeling as though I'm losing my spirituality. It's been a bit of an internal struggle but I believe I'm getting myself back to where I'd like to be in that regard. I'd had some questioning of the Church's policies, and questioned what to do when my conscience was telling me something different from the Church's teachings; I was also concerned about what to do when I disagreed with Catholic dogma.
This week being Holy Week, I decided to try to fix my questioning. It's been some time since I'd gone to Confession, so I went this past week and talked to a priest, who was able to offer some helpful advice. I also went to Holy Thursday Mass and Adoration of the Blessed Sacrament and Night Prayer on Thursday night, to the outdoor Stations of the Cross on Friday, and to the Good Friday Mass yesterday afternoon. I went to part of a prayer service last night also. Tonight is the Easter Vigil Mass, which is one of my favorite services, which I'll attend also. (This time last year Chris and I were in London, and I had gone to the Westminster Cathedral Easter Vigil, which was mind-blowing, it was so lovely.)
I've begun to feel better about my beliefs again, although I'll have to put more effort forth and not just go to Mass because it's obligatory. I think I just need to find ways to get involved within the parish, which has been difficult while being at school since my schedule changes each semester, and often in the evenings I'll have classes. Something could be worked out, though. I was more sure of myself when I was more involved.